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Physical Custody
Where the children live and the day-to-day schedule across both homes.
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Mediation / Custody & Parenting Plans
Custody & Parenting Plans · Virginia
A plan built by the people who know your kids best.
Schedules, holidays, decision-making, communication: in mediation you and the other parent design the parenting plan yourselves. That room to build around your own children, instead of accepting a judge's template, is what makes mediated custody work so well.
First call is a conversation, not a commitment.
The Short Answer
Mediation is well suited to custody. You and the other parent design the schedule, holidays, decision-making, and communication rules together, rather than having a judge impose them. The agreement is then written up and, once approved by the court, becomes part of your custody order.
How It Works
The pieces of a parenting plan.
A custody fight in court hands the most personal decisions of your family life to someone who has met your children for a few minutes, if at all. Mediation flips that. You and the other parent, the two people who actually know the kids, build the plan. A neutral mediator keeps the conversation productive, and the result is a plan shaped around your real routines rather than a generic order.
The regular schedule
This is the backbone: where the children are on which days, how weeks are split, and how the rhythm works across two homes. Mediation lets you build something that fits actual life, your work shifts, the kids' activities, the distance between homes, rather than forcing your family into a standard template that may not fit anyone.
Holidays and school breaks
The regular schedule is only part of the year. Holidays, birthdays, school breaks, and summers all need their own plan, and these are often where feelings run highest. Working them out in mediation, ahead of time and in detail, prevents the December standoffs and the last-minute texts that turn a holiday into a fight.
Decision-making
Beyond the schedule, parents have to decide how the big calls get made: education, health care, religion, and other major decisions. A plan can give the parents joint say, split certain categories, or set a process for when they disagree. Mediation lets you tailor this instead of accepting a blanket label, so it matches how you actually want to parent together.
Communication and exchanges
Finally, the plan covers the practical glue: how the parents communicate, how information about the children gets shared, and how and where exchanges happen. Clear rules here reduce friction in everyday life, which is exactly where co-parents feel the strain most.
The scheduleDay-to-day time across two homes, built around real routines.
HolidaysHolidays, birthdays, breaks, and summers, planned in detail ahead of time.
DecisionsHow education, health, and religion calls get made, and what happens in a disagreement.
CommunicationHow parents share information and handle exchanges with less friction.
The standardThe court reviews the plan for the best interests of the child before entering it.
Built By Parents, Approved By The Court
A mediated parenting plan is not the last word by itself. It goes to the court, which reviews it with the best interests of the child in mind and then enters it as an order. The court keeps the final say, but a thoughtful, workable plan is usually approved.
Note: Custody is decided under Virginia's best-interests-of-the-child standard; confirm current factors as applied to your case.
Corrie Sirkin, Esq.Founding Partner
Attorney Insight
A few honest things about parenting plans.
"A judge gives you a ruling. Mediation gives you a plan you helped write, and parents follow the plans they helped build far more willingly."
The plans that fall apart are usually the ones imposed on people who never bought into them. When parents build the schedule themselves, they understand why it is shaped the way it is, and they tend to stick to it. My advice is to get specific, especially on holidays and exchanges, because vague language is where next year's fight hides. I also tell parents to leave room for the plan to grow, since a toddler's schedule should not be a teenager's. And I am always honest about the cases that do not belong in mediation: where there is real safety risk, the courtroom is the right place, and I will say so.
Questions Families Ask
Plain answers about custody in mediation.
These are the questions parents ask most about building a plan in mediation. If yours is not here, we are happy to answer it directly.
Have a specific question?
Call 571.260.0999 or send us a message.
Can custody and parenting plans be mediated in Virginia?
Yes. Mediation is well suited to custody and parenting plans. You and the other parent design the schedule, holidays, decision-making, and communication rules together, rather than having a judge impose them. The agreement is then written up and, once approved by the court, becomes part of your custody order.
What goes into a parenting plan?
A parenting plan covers the regular schedule, holidays and school breaks, how decisions about education, health, and religion get made, how the parents communicate, and how exchanges happen. Mediation lets parents build a plan around their own children and routines rather than a one-size template.
Does a mediated custody agreement still go to court?
Yes. A mediated parenting plan is submitted to the court, which reviews it with the best interests of the child in mind and, once approved, enters it as an order. The court keeps the final say on the child's interests, but a well-built agreement is usually approved.
What does the court consider for custody in Virginia?
Virginia courts decide custody based on the best interests of the child, weighing factors such as each parent's relationship with the child, the child's needs, and each parent's ability to support the child's relationship with the other parent. In mediation, parents build a plan with those same interests in mind.
When You Are Ready
Build the plan your kids deserve.
Tell us about your family, and we will help you design a parenting plan that fits your children and holds up over time. Three offices across Northern Virginia, one phone number.