Military Divorce · Virginia

Deployment and Child Custody: What Virginia Military Parents Need to Know

By Corrie Sirkin, Esq. · Founding Partner

A set of orders can move a parent halfway around the world with little warning. For a mother or father who shares custody, that reality raises an urgent question: what happens to my time with my child while I am gone, and will it still be there when I get back. Virginia has built specific protections for deploying parents, and using them early keeps a deployment from quietly eroding your role.

The Family Care Plan and the court order are not the same

The military requires single parents and dual military couples to keep a Family Care Plan, a document naming who cares for the child during deployment. It is a readiness requirement, and it matters. But it is not a custody order. A Family Care Plan tells the command who is watching the child. It does not bind the other parent or a Virginia court.

That gap surprises people. A servicemember can have a complete Family Care Plan and still have no enforceable custody arrangement under Virginia law. The two work together, but the court order is what carries legal weight between the parents.

What Virginia law gives a deploying parent

Virginia's provisions for deploying parents, found around Va. Code § 20-124.7 and the sections near it, recognize that service members deploy and that the law should not punish them for it. A deployment standing alone is generally not treated as a permanent change in circumstances that would justify rewriting custody for good. In appropriate cases, a deploying parent can delegate parenting time to a close family member, so a grandparent or stepparent can keep that bond alive while the parent is away.

Courts can also move quickly when orders are imminent, holding expedited hearings so the arrangement is settled before deployment rather than litigated from a war zone. For how Virginia handles parenting time generally, see our child visitation page.

Plan before the orders, not after

The families who do best put deployment terms in the parenting plan ahead of time: who cares for the child, how the absent parent stays in contact, and how the schedule snaps back on return. Building that in advance avoids a scramble when orders drop. We draft these terms so they are ready before they are needed. For the wider military divorce picture, see our military divorce page, and for the divorce process, our divorce practice page.

"A Family Care Plan tells your command who has the kids. A court order tells the other parent."

Corrie Sirkin, Esq. Founding Partner

Honest counsel: a Family Care Plan is not a custody order

I have met servicemembers who thought their Family Care Plan settled everything, only to find it carried no weight in a custody dispute. The Family Care Plan keeps you deployable, and that is important, but it does not bind the other parent or the court. So we put the deployment terms into an actual parenting plan, with delegated time, communication, and a clean return to the schedule. And when orders are coming fast, we ask the court to move fast too. The goal is simple: settle it before you ship out, not from across the world.

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